Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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