FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
