She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
