there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
