Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize