So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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