I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
