You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
