why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
