good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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