Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
