If i come over, it means nothing
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
