At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
