I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize