I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
