So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Randomize