You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
