you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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