i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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