the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
