sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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