did you get engaged???
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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