Where is the hickey?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize