I puked a lego.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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