Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
