Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
