Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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