i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
