he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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