Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
