An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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