gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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