Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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