I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
