My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
