I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
