I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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