I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Houston, we have a squirter
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
