We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
