Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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