i barfeds in our rink
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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