eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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