i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
