maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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