"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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