you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
