is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
