I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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