shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
