then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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