I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize