Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
