Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We need to get me chipped asap
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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