It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
