i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
