my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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