Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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