OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
my nose is crying tears of wow.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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