Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
