Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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