I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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